


The Moment During The Storm

by The_Mouse_of_Anon



Series: Emergency Fics [4]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Bart's thoughts while Jaime is on mode, Changing plans, M/M, death mention, planned murder, some of Bart's traumatic past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 21:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11365812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Mouse_of_Anon/pseuds/The_Mouse_of_Anon
Summary: Jaime was on mode. The very thing Bart had gone to the past to prevent had happened. But he couldn't talk to anyone else, because if he did then he would have had to admit to things he couldn't.





	The Moment During The Storm

**Author's Note:**

> For this fourth emergency fic the prompt I got was for Bluepulse angst. And if this isn't angsty I don't know what else it could possibly be.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t, he couldn’t, _he couldn’t._

Bart couldn’t talk to anyone else. Talking to anyone else would have meant that he would have had to admit to things he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell anyone else that he’d gone back to the past to kill Jaime. Well, okay, he hadn’t _strictly_ planned on killing Jaime– ideally he was just supposed to keep Jaime from going on mode– but killing had been on the table. It had been there, a possibility, a threat, a possible necessity if worst came to worst.

He wasn’t counting on this.

He wasn’t counting on suddenly realizing out of nowhere that he had a crush on the same person he had been planning on killing in the worst case scenario. He’d had a panic attack. Oh, Bart had managed to keep it together long enough to get to his room, but the moment the door was closed the freak out hit him full force.

He couldn’t have a crush on Blue Beetle. He _knew_ exactly what Blue Beetle turned into in his timeline. He remembered all too well the fear, the terror, the crawling, scraping nightmare that made it feel like he was about to step out of his skin if Blue Beetle’s attention ever was directed his way. He remembered the panic attacks, the screaming and blood and injury and death that he had seen Blue Beetle inflict– always lucky ‘enough’ to be out of range and back in a crowd rather than out in front. He remembered always being terrified that he would be next, that resistance or no he would be found out and that Blue Beetle would kill him by inches.

He’d seen too many who had died that way– a little at a time; slowly, slowly, until they stopped screaming.

But at the same time this panic attack was much more complicated than the ones he’d had in his past. This time he couldn’t help panicking over the thought of killing Jaime, that he had ever _considered_ killing Jaime. The idea that he could lose Jaime at all, that Jaime might die at his hands, was _too much_. He could NOT lose Jaime, couldn’t let Jaime die, couldn’t let Jaime go on mode, couldn’t kill Jaime, couldn’t let him become something so thoroughly _wrong_ for the person he actually _was_.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Hyperventilating wasn’t going to help, but damned if it wasn’t hard to try to get it under control.

Whatever was going to happen, Bart knew one thing with absolute conviction: no matter what it took he was going to save Jaime, even if he had to kill every last one of the Reach on Earth to do it. Jaime couldn’t die– but if it was the _only_ way to save him… Bart hoped he wouldn’t have to make that decision.


End file.
